Anywhere but in your mind.

Where does it end? Everyone’s completely out of their mind. Or maybe they’re not. Maybe you’re the only one who sees it.

A pair of fingers picks up the blue pill.

Where does it start?

A red light bulb. Shadows moving on the wall.

Maybe the first time the two of you had sex. That moment where the warmth enveloped you and you felt connected. Not in that cliché romantic-comedy bullshit way.

A mini-dv tape. Labeless. Lying on tile.

Maybe it’s when you smashed the tape into a thousand pieces. Splintering the only record of the warmth and connection that existed outside of your mind and her's. The proof is gone. Maybe it never happened.

A set of plumbers pliers comes crashing onto the tape. A FLASH of writhing bodies. Bathed in red light. You are jerked into a new position. Black shards splinter upwards and the magnetic innards sprawl out from the crushed tape.

Maybe it was years earlier and you didn’t quite understand. And you started taking a little blue pill to make the pain go away. And you’re so stupid. To think this pain exists anywhere but in your mind.

A twitching eyelid. Your mouth. Opening and closing. Muscles pulling underneath. Clenched jaw.

There's a clicking in your jaw. You wake up in the middle of the night teeth clenched because you had some fucked up dream. You stopped taking the pill.