The Dinner Party

I'm sitting at the table with all my old friends. I know we've all had too much to drink because there are corks on the floor, under my foot, that have long since rolled off the surface of the table and dark stains bleed into the white table cloth where my glass spilled when somebody knocked it over earlier.

I look at the laughing faces of those sitting around me. Rejection laughs the hardest. Cackling and slapping the table loudly. He wasn't invited, but he always seems to show up anyway. Next to him, laughing almost as hard, sits Disappointment. She lets the glass in her hand down. In between cackles he turns to her and they kiss. It's almost obscene what a good couple they make.

Faith juts a glass in my direction. She wants a refill. I pick up the nearest green bottle but its empty. I hold it up to the light to peer through it. Just to make sure. A quick glance around the table and I notice all the bottles are empty save for the one in the hands of Temptation. She dangles it in front of me, before smirking and pouring the last of the wine into her glass. Faith is not happy. I look for the nearest waiter but I can't make eye contact and none of them sees me raise my hand. Faith gets up from the table. Sighs. Drops her napkin on her chair. I think about following her as she walks off. Reason looks at me and shakes his head. Like he knows what I'm thinking.

My vision falls on the two in front of me. Hope runs a finger along the rim of her glass. The glass tips up on the edge of its base. Precariously balanced by her delicate touch. Love plays with strands of her own hair and the air catches her scent and I can smell her sweet fragrance from here. They share a glance that implies some illicit affair will take place after we're all gone. I imagine Hope running her delicate fingers over the nape of Love's neck. Drawing them down to her perfect breast. Balancing a fingertip on her nipple to tease her. I must be staring because they both glare at me. I chuckle. No one can make me feel more like a voyeur than these two. There might as well be a pane of glass between them and me.

I glance around the restaurant. At the front door. Towards the restrooms. I think about looking for Faith. Sadness lights a cigarette, and takes a deep drag. She's not suppose to smoke in here. I shoot her a look and she exhales in my general direction and the veil of smoke comes over me. Choking me. I swipe at the air in front of my face. I wish she would just disappear. I feel like ripping the cigarette from her hand. Temperance, a late arrival, as usual, pats me on the back and says hello. He sits far away from me. I'm not about to start screaming across the table. I wish Passion had shown up. I'm so thirsty all of a sudden. Where the fuck is the waiter?

The guest of honor, at the head of the table, gestures for us to quiet down. We do. She begins, "I just want to say thanks for coming out tonight. It means a lot to me. I'm sorry if I haven't been around as much as you'd all like these last few days, but if things go well I'll be around quite a bit more in the future." The waiter suddenly appears as if culled from the ether. He fills all our glasses from one last bottle. Before anyone's taken a sip I quickly stand up. I raise my glass towards the head of the table. I smile. "To Happiness." The chorus echoes my sentiment and I sit down again. Momentarily satisfied to be in her presence. Even if she's got an early appointment in the morning and won't be staying long. It was good to see her.